The heart is a volatile thing. Wish evidence? Take a look at „new york > brooklyn > obtainable > appliances – by holder“ on

a hilarious advertisement
titled „Wanna put my tender center in a blender,“ a woman detailed a Vitamix blender for $400 — plenty for a Vitamix, in ways. But this Vitamix is actually tinged with tales of heartbreak, love lost, plus one genuinely douchey-sounding corporate-lawyer ex.

From inside the ad, she describes that she began dating a lawyer after matching with him on
, also giving him one minute opportunity after he ghosted their:

He is type. In contrast to various other corporate lawyers, you tell your friends, whom smile sorely. He desires to leave Wappen & Kladden! He’s prices! He is sensitive! You have not ever been happier, and he states he is not ever been more content, and also for the very first time, you understand you’re in love.

You spend tons of money on times and do not care. The guy tends to make 3 x everything you, but you wish to prove you’re not after his cash.

Eventually, she claims things begin to go south. He is frightened of devotion (“

The guy sees you ‘in a bad method‘ today. He perhaps even doubts you are appealing“)

, she discovers him boring, plus amazing things,

„just how did he pass the LSATs?“ The guy goads their into splitting up with him the afternoon after the woman birthday right after which, lo, the Vitamix blender showed up on her doorstep:

Either the guy wants you back, or the guy will not understand the real varieties.

He does not see the real types. Exactly who purchases some one they truly are dumping a Vitamix? He wants to end up being the character of your story: „i acquired this woman an epic birthday celebration gift following we broke up.“ He wishes me to keep in mind him fondly. I can’t abide it.

Brava! We look ahead to witnessing

Vitamix Blender Appreciation Story

adapted the giant screen